Super Bowl Challenge

One cold February night, let’s say in 2013, my roommate and I had some people over to watch the Super Bowl.  Among those attending was a girl I was considering liking who was a vegetarian, so I set myself to the challenge of making all vegetarian foods that didn’t taste gross or sacrifice in flavor. Thinking it was going to be a difficult task, I asked myself what are regular Super Bowl foods, and how can I make them from foods without a soul?  It was surprisingly easy.

Fortunately for this blog, all of the foods had some kind of cheese in them.  And fortunately for me, I did not make everything from scratch.  On the menu were pizza, hot wings, meatball subs, and nachos.

Pizza

For the pizza, I used a store-bought crust, homemade sauce (recipe below), and freshly-grated mozzarella, then covered it with thinly-sliced onions, green peppers, and black olives, then cooked it until it was brown and bubbly.  Easy enough, but also the weakest of the Super Bowl foods.  It gets better.

Wings

For the wings, I cooked Gardein brand crispy tenders (texture and taste similar to baseball guts, but altogether not disgusting)  according to the package directions, then tossed them in the following ingredients warmed together on the stove top, and served with celery and blue cheese dressing.

• 1/2 cup Frank’s Red Hot Original sauce
• 1/3 cup butter
• 2 cloves garlic (or up to 6), minced

Gardein “chicken”

One of food’s most important achievements

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With the garlicky hot sauce, they were so good I lost my voice during most of the third quarter.

Meatball Subs

For the meatball subs, I prepared some marinara sauce (also used on the pizza, recipe below), and tumbled in some Gardein brand meatless meatballs (also surprisingly good).  Once the meatballs were warmed, I hollowed out some sub rolls, lined one side with provolone cheese, dropped on a couple of meatballs and sauce, then wrapped the whole sub in aluminum foil and kept them warm in the oven until the cheese was melted and gooey.  These were so good the power went out at the Superdome during part of the game.

Meatless meatballs

Meatball sub

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marinara Sauce

• 2 T olive oil
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1-3 splashes of red wine
• 1 28 oz. can of Redpack crushed tomatoes
• salt and pepper
• 1 handful of fresh parsley, chopped

In a large pan, cook the onions until they are translucent, maybe 10-15 minutes.  Add the garlic and cook for another minute.  Add the red wine and cook until it has reduced, maybe 5 minutes.  Add the tomatoes, salt and pepper, and parsley and cook for another 10 minutes.  Taste for seasoning, and add more salt if necessary.

Nachos

For the nachos, on a large sheet tray, I arranged tortilla chips, then black beans, then pickled jalapenos, then salsa, then grated cheddar cheese.  I roasted the tray in the oven at 450 until the cheese was melted and the chips began to turn brown.  Keep an eye on it, or it will burn.  Once out of the oven, I topped it with hot sauce, several scoops of sour cream, and fresh cilantro.  These were so good I lost my vision for a third of the night.

A nacho

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If that sounds like too much work you could always just make this, or eat this.

There is no way I took all of these photos.  They are not mine.  If they are yours, let me know, and I will delete them forever.

The Best Guacamole

One eventful night in Washington, a friend or three and I decided to go out for some Mexican here. Before we were allowed entry to the restaurant, Secret Service had to pass some metal detectors over us, informing us that there was a “high-profile” guest inside dining.  Once we cleared security and were taken to our table, we saw who the high-profile guest was.  In the back room, at a table with her friends, was first lady Michelle Obama.  She was there for the guacamole.  I was certain of it.  It’s made table-side in a mortar and pestle, and it beats all other guacamoles.  I’ve been to this restaurant a number of times, watching them craft this delicious dip each time in efforts to recreate it on my own. Below is the recipe.  Michelle Obama approves.

• 2 ripe Hass avocados
• juice from 1/2 of a lime
• 1 small jalapeno (or Serrano chile), seeded and minced
• 1 T cilantro, chopped
• 1/2 t Adobo seasoning with pepper (or salt)
• 1/2 small tomatillo, finely chopped
• 1-2 T queso fresco

Remove the pit from the avocado and discard.  Scoop the flesh out of the avocado and place into a bowl with the lime juice.  Give it a mix.  On a cutting board, chop the jalapeno and cilantro with the Adobe seasoning, then add to the avocado mixture and stir well.  Check for seasoning, and add salt if necessary. Top with the diced tomatillo and queso fresco, then eat with really delicious tortilla chips.

Guacamole for my mouth

Celebrity chef José Andrés is the man responsible for all the delicious food at Oyamel.  He has restaurants in Washington DC, Las Vegas, Beverly Hills, and Miami.

Some other highlights from the restaurant include the Oaxacan margaritas, huitlacoche (corn fungus truffles – that’s right, fungus), and confit of baby pig tacos (A.K.A. delicious and adorable baby pig tacos).  Avoid the grasshopper taco!!

 

 

“MMMMMMMMMMM” – Michelle Obama

 

Halloumi (part 2)

Last month, on the unasked for cheese blog.  I talked about the ups and downs of a little-known, highly-volatile cheese called Halloumi.  Today I conclude with part two of the Halloumi saga, which brings me to a short narrative… and a recipe.

“Once upon a time in the British Isles lived a fair maiden by the name of Nigella Lawson.  Nigella had magical skills such as baking a Chocolate Guinness Cake and mixing Spaghetti with Bacon, Egg, and White Wine.  She was so good at cooking, in fact, that she got several of her own cooking shows and won the hearts of many men’s stomachs.  One day, on one of these shows, Nigella roasted Halloumi with sausage, red peppers, and basil.  Then I made it, and I lived happily ever after.”

A vision of Halloumi with sausage

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• 8 Merguez sausages (or any small link sausage for that matter)
• 1 8 oz. package of Halloumi, cut into 1/4 inch slices
• 8 oz. jar of roasted red peppers, cut into bite-sized pieces
• 1 handful of basil leaves, torn
• a drizzle of garlic oil

Serves 2 people, assuming one of them’s not me

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  On a large sheet tray arrange sausages, slices of Halloumi, and red peppers in a single layer.  Drizzle with oil.  Roast for 15-20 minutes until the sausage is cooked and the cheese is browned, then sprinkle on basil shards and EAT.

Nigella wearing her Halloumi-cooking dress

Recipe courtesy of Nigella Lawson.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’d say that’s first rate.” – Nigella talking about the newest BBC Sherlock episode

A Cheese Board

I am not a cheese expert by any stretch of the imagination.  But I do like it when I’m eating it.  When it comes to making a cheese board for a dinner or party, it’s really easy, and it looks great with very little effort.  I recently made one such board this past Christmas time for a holiday party, that included a Brie, a Stilton, and a Beemster.  I usually go with three kinds of cheeses, two kinds of crackers, and one kind of fruit.  See some more useless suggestions below.

a cheese board made for a Halloween party circa 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Cheeses – For the cheeses, I go with a cow’s milk, a goat’s milk, and a sheep’s milk.  I also try to go for varying textures (a hard cheese, a soft, cheese, and a blue cheese).

2 Crackers – Table Water Crackers are a good choice, and then I also grab a whole grain cracker.

1 Fruit – If pears or apples are in season, I go with them.  Grapes add good contrast in flavor and texture.  Figs or dried apricots can also be a good choice.

Don’t hesitate to ask the cheesemaster at your local grocery what kinds of fruits will pair with what kinds of cheeses.  They’re probably bored anyway.

Don’t forget to add a knife to the board.  Bottom line, cheese is delicious, and so are crackers and most fruits.  It’s hard to mess this up.  But people are generally very impressed with your ability to make this.